Dusk
by Really Really Long PenName Guy
Summary: When Jacob walks Edward to his breaking point, they're sent into a nightmare filled with lust, lies, chemical romance, and maybe even love, if they can manage to recover the lost innocence and trust. *WARNING: JxE, rape, lemons, abuse, possible mpreg.*
1. You've Turned My Heart Jet Black

**Dusk****  
Chapter One;  
**_**You've Turned My Heart Jet-Black.**_

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," I told Bella, who was hugging me as tight as she could. I returned the embrace, but so much softer.

"I love you," I told her. "Love you too," she murmured, sighing in content.

"Now, go on! Get! I can't miss you if you don't leave," I said, making her smile. "Oh, so now you're trying to get rid of me?" she said. I kissed her lightly and replied, "Yes, actually, I am. The faster you leave, the faster you come back."

"Okay. I'll try to be back by 6. Jake's coming over-"

"_What_?"

"_Jake's coming over_," she continued, "around 6:30, so if I'm not home by then, just entertain him. And try not to kill each other." I sighed and nodded. She hugged me once more and then ran out to the car, where Alice, Rosalie and Esme were waiting for her. They were all going to go over the wedding plans and finish them, and I had to be as far away as possible so I didn't overhear the surprise. To top it off, I wasn't to leave the house.

Jasper and Emmett came into the room. "We'll be back later," Emmett told me. I looked at them in disbelief. "You're leaving too?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jasper said. "We're gonna hunt for the evening. Found a new spot _full _of lions you'd like. We'll show you later. No peeking, either!" I nodded and blocked out their thoughts, and they did the same. Carlisle came downstairs, and what little hope I had of not being completely alone in this house were crushed.

"I'll be back in an hour or so," he told me after Jasper and Emmett had left. "I have to get some supplies. You think you'll be alright alone for a little while?"

I snorted. "I think I'll survive." I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'd be fine. The only reason I didn't want to be alone in this house was that it was _boring_. The television got on my nerves, I'd already read every book in the house, and I wasn't allowed to leave. Fun, fun, fun.

It was almost five o'clock. The only thing on my To-Do List was to wait for Bella, Alice and Esme to get back. I sighed, sat on the couch and flipped the television on anyway. It was something to do.

I ended up watching the news play over and over for the next hour. It filled up the silence. Suddenly, I heard thumping, and my nose started to burn. I wrinkled it in disgust as the scent hit me.

Jacob was early.

I waited until his paw-steps faded into footsteps. There was a pause, and a rustle of fabric as he most likely put on some clothes, more footsteps, and then a knock at the door.

I got up and opened it, my nose on fire with his filthy scent. "Bloodsucker," he greeted.

"Mongrel," I replied, stepping to the side to let him in. He looked around. "Where's Bella?"

"Out. You're early," I told him.

"Oh. S'okay if I wait here with you?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I suppose you wouldn't be a bother. Bella said she'd be here at 6, so you'll have to wait approximately 10 to 15 minutes."

He sat down on the couch, turning the television's volume up. "How can you watch TV without even hearing it?" he asked. I took a seat next to him. "I could hear it just fine. You're just deaf," I informed him. Jacob had trained himself to block his thoughts out from me. I was grateful; I didn't want to hear his disgusting fantasies anyway.

"I can hear just fine," he growled, turning away from me. "I didn't come here to fight with you, Edward."

"Then turn the TV down a little. It's much too loud," I said. He had it so _he _could hear it fine, but it was so loud for me that my ears were starting to ring.

"A little," Jacob compromised, doing so. I silently thanked him and we watched the news, the same stories over and over for me, news to him.

"Hurry up, Bella," he muttered after a half hour. I didn't blame him; the girls were terribly late.

"Don't you have a girlfriend or something?" I asked conversationally and Jacob gaped at me. "Is that any of your business?" he snapped.

I almost laughed at his hostility. "Relax, I'm just asking."

"Well, my love life is none of your concern," Jacob said venomously. I raised an eyebrow, trying to pry my way into his head, wondering why he was suddenly so defensive. But he kept his guard up, and I gave up on him.

"Oh come on. We should at least try and get along, right? For Bella's sake," I told him, scooting closer.

His notrils flared at the movement, but he couldn't help but agree with me. "For Bella's sake," he grumbled.

"Soooo..." I scooted closer, smiling in a patronizing manner. His hands turned into fists.

"No girlfriend then?"

I suddenly hit the floor. It didn't hurt, but it did paralyze me for a second or two. Since when could Jacob knock me over? How was that _possible_?

"How did you do that?" I asked, thoroughly dazed.

Jacob turned the TV down, smirking. "What, no sarcastic remark?" He got down on the floor, crawling so that he hovered over me. A cold feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. "No stab at my social life?"

"Jacob, stop playing games!" But the look on his face made me look away. He looked ready to kill. Jacob grabbed my jaw and forced my head forward again, and I swept my eyes back to his gaze. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry.

"_What _in God's name are you doing?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I succeeded; my voice was even and calm.

"You think you're all high and mighty, don't you? That I don't amount to anything you do?" He leaned in closer, and I felt his too-hot breath on my face; I cringed.

I tried to push him off, but he didn't let me, and I rolled to the side instead. Jacob roughly grabbed my waist and slammed my body back onto the floor in front of him. I held back a cry of pain. I wriggled and kicked, but I couldn't break free.

I wanted to know when he'd gotten so strong, but I didn't dare, nor did I try to get up again. I had three new facts to add to my knowledge about Jacob Black: 1) He was stronger than me. 2) He could hurt me. 3) He _scared me_.

"I didn't mean it-" I honestly didn't. I'd just been messing with him like we always did around each other. And it wasn't like what I'd said was that bad, was it? Or had I just finally pushed himt to the edge?

"Shut the hell up," Jacob hissed, and fear froze me. He grabbed my wrists and pinned my arms above my head. If I was alive, he would've completely cut off the circulation in my hands with the death-grip he had. I felt my bones grinding against each other, and gasped in pain, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I'm s-sorry," I murmured.

"_Sorry_? You're not sorry!" he yelled, growling menacingly. I cried out in agony as his grip tightened.

Again, I tried to escape, but Jacob didn't let me go. Once more, his hands tightened and I heard a loud crack. Suddenly, my right arm was on fire, and I knew that he'd broken something. I tried not to show that it hurt, but it was evident in my voice. "Jacob,_ stop_-"

The black t-shirt I was wearing was suddenly being lifted off of my body. My eyes widened as Jacob let go of my wrists to throw it elsewhere. My mind went into overload as I panicked.

"W-what are you doing?!" I stuttered, my breathing becoming fast and irregular.

"_Now_, you're scared, eh?" He chuckled darkly. I was frozen with fear, my wrist throbbing painfully. I'd never broken a bone before, and I hoped I never would again.

Jacob leaned in close, his own bare chest pressing against mine, and gave me a smirk. "Edward, you need to be taught a little lesson in _hospitality_," he said slyly, his hands going to my waist. I watched in horror as he undid my belt. And he did it slowly, to torture me, I presume. Once the belt was gone, his fingers slipped under the waistband of my jeans and tugged downwards. They slipped off easily; I didn't have the widest hips.

I heard my pants being discarded on the floor by the rest of my clothes. I tried to kick him off of me. "Jacob, if you know what's good for you-"

He backhanded me then. Hard.

My head flew to the side with the force of the hit, and I couldn't help but cry out.

"If _you_ know what's good for you, Edward, you'll keep your mouth shut from now on," he replied. He started to pull off the jean shorts he was wearing, having arrived shirtless, and I almost was able to get to my feet in his short moment of distraction, but he managed to grab me before I could.

_I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'd be fine. _Apparently, I'd been wrong.

"Jacob, I swear to fucking God I'll scream so loud that the whole town of Forks is going to hear me," I growled. "Just stop-"

But Jacob grabbed a fistful of my hair, yanking me to the side. I whimpered.

"Keep your mouth shut if you don't want me to break your neck," he threatened. I nodded, and he removed his hand. His hands went to my waist again.

I couldn't win. Jacob pulled off my boxers effortlessly, and they joined the rest of my clothes on the floor. I knew my whole face would be red if it could be, considering I was laying, helpless and naked, under Jacob Black.

"I..." I sighed. I'd lost. He was going to do it whether I begged, wiggled, or cried. His smirk was still there, and I closed my eyes. "Just do it already," I mumbled.

He laughed, removing the remainder of his clothes. I whimpered. "You really want me to?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No," my voice cracked, "but you're going to anyway."

He grinned slightly, running a finger along my jawline; I shivered. "Relax, and you might enjoy it," he whispered in my ear, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth. I stopped breathing.

"Ready?" he asked, patronizing me. I shook my head, looking up to the ceiling and counting to distract myself.

_One mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi, four mississippi, five-_

Suddenly, Jacob thrust his hips hard. I screamed until my throat was raw and burning, but Jacob slapped his hand over my mouth. My spine snapped straight immediately. I felt like my body was being torn apart, slowly and painfully. The pain dizzied me, my vision got blurry, and I started breathing hard. I grabbed Jacob's shoulders and gripped them as tight as I could to steady myself. I heard Jacob hiss, but he didn't stop me. _-seven mississippi, eight mississippi, nine missi-_

My whole body sore and protesting, Jacob thrust in again. I cried out in agony; my back arched as I tried not to think about the pain. I heard Jacob moan low in his throat.

"Revenge hurts, doesn't it?" Jacob replied. _A whole fucking lot_, I said in my head. Soon, he did it again, and again. I felt myself going numb as he set a fast pace for himself.

Then I heard one of the most wonderful sounds.

It was the sound of a Porsche, specifically a yellow one, speeding down the street.

Jacob sped up his thrusts, suddenly, his breath quickening. My nails dug into his skin as the pain grew stronger. _Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..._

And then, Jacob grabbed my hips tightly, slamming into me once last time before climax hit him, and I closed my eyes. Jacob put his lips right next to my ear. "Wasn't so bad, was it?" he whispered. I wiped the sweat from my forehead with my good hand. "Go to hell," I spat, gritting my teeth. There was the sound of a car screeching down the street and into the driveway.

"Bella's back," I muttered bitterly. He must've heard me, because he stood up and redressed. "Get up," he said sharply. I nodded and, walking a bit slower than usual, gathered my clothes, dressing slowly. Jacob grabbed a handful of my hair. "Say nothing," he ordered. "I won't," I whimpered pathetically. He smiled and let me go, satisfied with what he'd reduced me to. I didn't bother putting my clothes on, just took them with me upstairs to my room. I shut the door before getting undressed again. I went to my closet and dressed in a pair of silk sleep pants. Then, slowly, I eased my aching body into my bed, pulling the covers over my head. I wanted to sleep, but resting like this was the closest I was going to get.

I heard Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Bella walk through the front door. "Jacob! You're early!" Bella squealed excitedly.

"On the contrary, Bella: you're just late," Jacob replied, and she laughed. "Where's Edward?"

"He went upstairs, said something about a book he wanted to finish," Jacob said innocently.

"I'll go check on him," Bella said.

"No, it's okay," Alice interrupted. "I'll do it. Have fun with Jacob, Bells." She was in my room in a second. "Edward?" she whispered.

"I'm here," I whispered back, staring intently at the pillow next to me. Alice silently walked over and gave me a hard stare. "Are you hurt?" she asked after a minute of two of silence.

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

"Jacob," she said. I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes. I had a new fear for that name; everything he'd done to instill that fear came rushing back when she said it. "What about him?" I snapped.

"I don't know," Alice said. "I saw someone hurting you, but I couldn't tell who. It was really blurry..." She paused. "And I think it was Jacob."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Alice," I told her, rolling over to face the other way. She sighed and lay next to me, reaching for my hand; my _bad _hand. I gasped and pulled it away, clutching it to my chest.

I could feel Alice glaring icy daggers at me. "Are you hurt?" she asked again.

"Hardly," I lied through my teeth.

"I'll get Carlisle," Alice said, getting up. I didn't say no to that one.

"Alice?" I said before she'd left.

"Yes?"

"Keep your big mouth _shut_."


	2. Spitting At A Broken Mirror

**Dusk  
Chapter Two;  
****_Spitting At A Broken Mirror._**

"How in the world did you manage to break your wrist, Edward?" Carlisle asked me. We (as in Carlisle, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, You-Know-Who, and I) were upstairs in Carlisle's 'exam room,' as we called it. Carlisle was feeling my arm, turning and twisting it, bending and flipping it. I was told to deal with the pain so he could figure out how to fix it.

The x-ray he'd taken was pretty clear: my hand was cleanly disconnected from the rest of my arm. _He_'d given my wrist a nice, clean break.

I sat on the small bed, ignoring the ache in my bottom, my knees up to my chest; Carlisle examining one hand, Bella sitting next to me, holding the other.

"I got bored," I lied, "and in the process of trying to find something to do, I just kind of...broke it." Carlisle looked at me skeptically, and I looked down. "It's a long story."

"Well, you're going to need a cast," he told me, going over to a cabinet where he pulled out the needed gauze. "Jasper, go boil some water and bring it to me, please," he told Jasper, who nodded and left the room.

"How did you get these bruises, too?" Carlisle asked, referring to the dark purple blotches around my wrists. "Nothing!" I said, putting my arms behind my back. If he was looking for bruises, he wasn't going to find the hand-shaped ones on my hips. I made sure my knees hid them.

"Really, Edward, how _did _you break it? Like, specifically?" Bella asked. I gave her a look, but she ignored it. I sighed. What was I supposed to say? I'd given the vaguest answer, but she wanted to know exactly what had happened. I wished she would take the hint and drop the subject. "Nothing, Bella." I didn't know how to make up a good excuse. What _ordinary _thing could break my bones?

Jasper was back with the boiled water. Carlisle thanked him and set it down. He took my arm again, pain shooting through it at his touch, and he seemed to align it, feeling the bones through my skin. When he was done, he said, "Don't move your arm, Edward."

I didn't. I watched as he dipped the gauze, piece by piece, into the water and wrapped it around my arm. When he was done, my arm was wrapped in wet gauze from my thumb to the middle of my arm.

"Thanks, Carlisle," I said. He instructed me not to move my fingers and not to touch the gauze as it dried. I looked up, looking around the room. Jacob was giving me the hardest look.

_Not a word_, he thought.

I swallowed and looked down, ashamed. I didn't know why I felt shame. Maybe because Jacob and I both knew that he had some kind of power over me.

And because I couldn't _stop _him from...

My head started to swim as I relived the nightmare in my head. I'd never been so scared for _myself_ in my life. I shivered and looked up, realizing everyone was looking at me. "What?"

"Carlisle asked if you were hurt anywhere else," Bella said, blinking at me, as if not believing that I hadn't heard something.

"Oh, uh, no, Carlisle. Thank you," I told him, giving hima weak smile before hopping off the bed. "I'm going to go rest." With a harsher tone to show that I meant it, I said, "I'd rather not be disturbed."

Before anyone could ask why, or before Bella could ask to tag along, I stepped out and walked down a floor to my room, locking the door. Sighing, I leaned against it, shaking.

"Bella, you want to hang out in my room?" I heard Alice offer. Bella agreed and they went to Alice's room, which was two rooms away from mine.

_You should tell her, Edward_, Alice thought.

"I'm not telling anyone anything," I whispered.

_Why not?_

"What happened does not involve anyone but me and Ja-" My throat seemed to close up at the thought of saying his name.

Alice seemed to understand that. _You're hurting yourself, Edward. What he did was wrong and you know it!_

"Drop it, Alice!" I said harshly. There was a pause, and I didn't think she was going to reply.

_Why are you acting so immature? _she finally asked.

"Immature? How am I acting immature?"

_You need help and you're shutting everyone out!_

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you! I don't need help! If I do need anything, I'll do it myself! Mind your own business, Alice, and _drop it_!" I blocked her thoughts out, then, so if she retorted, I didn't hear it. I sat on my bed and didn't hear anything for almost an hour.

There was a knock on my door. "I wanted not to be disturbed," I growled.

"It's Bella."

I sighed and opened the door. "Sorry, love. I've got a lot on my mind right now, what with the wedding so close and all. I'd really like to be alone," I lied.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. I just wanted to say I'd see you tomorrow. I wanna start on dinner before Charlie gets home." Bella had agreed to Charlie's little deal; he wouldn't complain about her engagement in front of her as long as she lived with him until she married. Bella wanted to make him dinner every day until that happened; he'd have to go back to TV dinners at one point, and the thought of that made Bella cringe.

"Okay." I gave her a short kiss. "Love you."

"I love you, too. I-" She gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. "Oh my God, Edward, what the hell _happened_?"

"What?"

"This!" She pointed to the bruises on my waist. I shook my head. "Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow. Tell Charlie I said hello," I said, quickly shutting the door before throwing myself onto the bed, face-first.

Jacob should've snapped my neck.

_What happened? Why's Bella so shell-shocked? _Alice asked me.

"Nothing, Alice."

"Bella! Bella, what happened?"

Of course if she couldn't get any answers out of _me_, she'd go to Bella. That's Alice. She doesn't give up.

"Edward. He had these... marks, or bruises, or something or other. I can only imagine the trouble he got himself into while we were gone."

"Was he okay?"

"I guess, but he didn't-"

"Thank you, Bella. Have a good evening!" Alice left her, and she started bounding up the stairs. _Edward!_ she thought.

_Fuck_. I jumped up to lock the door, but I was too late. Alice had gotten in. I jumped back into the bed, hiding under the covers.

"Show me the bruises," she demanded, crossing her arms.

Under the blankets, I crossed my arms over my abdomen. "What bruises?"

"Don't play dumb! Show me the goddamn bruises!"

"You saw them already! They're nothing!" I held out my wrists, carefully moving the blanket up to become my new coverup.

"Not those, I saw _those_." Alice yanked the covers off; they fell to the floor, ripped in two.

"What the hell did you go and do a thing like that for?"

"Edward, you're making this too difficult! Stop acting like you're five!"

"I will if you stop treating me like I am!"

"I will! Just show me_ the goddamn marks_!" Defeated, I sighed and got to my knees. Alice waited patiently. Slowly, I moved my arms out of the way to let her see the discolorings. Alice let out a squeak when she saw them.

"He left his _handprints_ on you," she said. "How did he even- how did he-"

"He's strong," I whispered. "Too strong."

"Stronger than _us_?"

I nodded, covering my bruises again. Alice went to my closet, pulled out a grey v-neck shirt. I thanked her and put it on.

"This is insane. I'm gonna go give that mutt a piece of my mind-" I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from he door.

"No, you certainly are _not_," I snapped. "You aren't supposed to know. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

"But you didn't tell me! I saw it!"

"No, you took a lucky guess; you didn't exactly _see anything_. It was supposed to be an affair between J-" I paused, taking a breath. "-between _he _and I. So keep your bloody mouth shut, got it?"

"Fine." She broke from my grip, glaring. "But if he even _looks _at you funny, I-"

"Will do nothing but sit there and watch," I finished for her. Alice looked at me in disbelief. Fuming, she punched my closet door, leaving a nice big hole.

"Now drop it, Alice. What happened happened. It's over." I looked up at her, and she frowned, shaking her head.

"Edward, you can't keep living in your little fantasy world," she sighed, turning to leave the room.


	3. Slurring Every Word I Wished I Said

**Dusk  
Chapter Three;  
****_Slurring Every Word I Wished I Said._**

"Edward!"

My head snapped up. I blinked. Emmett had been trying to get my attention. He looked annoyed and confused. "Sorry, Em. What'd you say?" I said, trying to give him a reassuring smile.

"What's up, Edward? I've been trying to get your attention for almost 10 minutes!" he said. I looked down at my clasped hands, my fingers fidgeting. "Nothing."

"You say _that _a lot."

"Because it _is _nothing. I'm just a little spaced out right now." I paused. "What with the wedding coming up so fast and all..." I felt guilty for using Bella and I's wedding as an excuse for my absentness. "So, what were you saying?"

"I asked if you wanted to go check out that spot I told you about." Spot...spot-?...oh! I remembered him saying something about a place full of lions. "Yeah, sure. I've got nothing to do."

"Great! Let's go." Emmett got up and headed for the door. I swallowed and followed him, slower though. It was two days after the incident.

_First clumsy vampire I've ever met :) Bella_, Bella had signed on my cast with a Sharpie. Everyone thought it was a good idea afterwards.

_Get better soon? Alice. _

_Arm-wrestling match right after this thing comes off. -Emmett. _

_Rosalie. _

_Carlisle - 9 weeks and then you can rip it to shreds. _

_Try not to break anything else. Esme. _

_Dork. (Jasper)_

I hadn't been able to look up when the last person signed it.

_Be careful. Jacob._

Be careful? I was tempted to rip off the part of my cast that he had signed, but that would be suspicious and strange.

_S'good he's going. He needs to get out more; being cooped up in this house for days'll make you crazy_, Emmett though on our way out. I sighed and began to ignore the voices in my head.

"I've just been a little spacey lately. No big deal. I get out enough," I said to him. He shook is head. "Just follow me." Emmett took off running towards the forest, and I was late to run. I had to really push myself to catch up. We ran through the trees and across the river, down the stone paths and then up the mountain. Emmett took me through unknown territory; the undergrowth between the trees was insane.

I slowed down immediately when I spotted a lion, pulling Emmett to a stop too. "I got this one," Emmett said, crouching low. I nodded and sat down on a large stone, though it was obvious the beast knew we were here. It sniffed the air carefully, inching its way towards us.

Emmett suddenly lunged at it, the lion not expecting his attack. It flew backwards into some trees, one actually falling backwards with a resounding _thump._ I watched in amusement.

The lion took a second on the ground, and then stood quickly, seeming to be quite alright. I heard it's already-fast heartbeat quicken and he roared thunderously.

Emmett started to go through all the possible attacks the lion could throw at him in his head so he could block them.

The lion roared again and jumped at Emmett, and he casually stepped to the side. The lion hit the ground, and without missing a beat, it lunged and pinned Emmett to the ground.

_Jacob roughly grabbed my wrists and brought me back._

I gasped and felt my hands hit the ground as the memory came rushing through my mind. I gulped and looked back up. Emmett threw the lion off as it scratched at him, leaving claw-holes in his t-shirt. He ran at it, but it caught him by the side and threw him onto the ground.

_...but Jacob grabbed me around my waist and threw me onto the floor._

I bit my lip and looked at my cast. It was just a painful reminder of what had happened, what I'd made him do, what he'd done to me. I could hear the whimpers and roars from the lion, and I knew Emmett had won the small fight.

An ice-cold feeling shot through me as I heard a too-familiar howl.

Not bothering to look up, I turned and ran back to the house.

-

That day, I didn't let anyone in. I didn't talk to anyone, not even Bella, though she only came over to tell me that she was going to spend the day at Charlie's, and if I wanted to come with. I declined.

Being Monday, I forced myself up and about. I quickly changed (this took about 3 seconds, as you can imagine) and went downstairs, where Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were sitting.

"Edward, why'd you go? I looked and suddenly you were gone," Emmett said when he noticed my presence.

"I remembered some things that needed to be done here and decided that I could hunt later. I hope you didn't mind," I added honestly. Emmett shook his head. "Not at all. Something wrong, though? you've been a bit... anti-social lately."

"No, I'm fine. Just fine. I'm going to go pick up Bella. See you at school?" I didn't wait for a reply. I grabbed my school-bag from the coat-rack by the door and ran to the garage, throwing the bag into the backseat of the Volvo and taking off as soon as I could.

Bella was just unlocking her truck when I pulled up. She gave me a confused look, and I smirked. "Must you always be surprised when I show up?" I exclaimed. She gave a small laugh and came around to the side, getting into the passnger's seat. I shifted gears and turned the car around, towards the school.

"It's not like you have to come get me every morning. I just make sure I get to school somehow," she said. I smiled and kissed her lightly.

However, my smile disappeared when I saw what was in the parking lot.

Jacob's car.

_Why_?

Bella must've noticed it too. She wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Is that Jacob?"

I nodded numbly, reaching into the backseat for our bags. "Let's go," I said, getting out. I went around and opened Bella's door for her, and she thanked me before taking her bag from my arm.

I took her hand and tried to lead her away from his car, but she insisted on doing the exact opposite. "Wait, I wanna see what Jacob wants-"

I sighed defeatedly and followed her over to him. She leaned over and looked through the driver's window. "Jacob?"

He was in there. He gave her a smile and got out, slamming the door. He hugged her tightly. I managed to control the growl scratching in my throat.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked curiously. "Don't you have school?"

"I'm skipping today. Besides, there's only a few days left. What does it matter?" he told her. "I just wanted to come say 'good morning,' eh?"

"Good morning, then," she said. "I'm gonna go to my locker, so I'll see you later." She turned to me. "Ready to go?"

"Quite," I muttered. She walked ahead.

_Edward_.

I froze. "Bella, go on ahead, I forgot something in my car. I'll meet you in class, okay?" I told her. She looked at me, studying my face, before she finally nodded and walked into the school.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, wondering what the hell he wanted. Then it hit me. He hadn't come here to see Bella. He'd come to see _me_. Re-opening my eyes, I turned and walked back to him. He gave me a long, hard look. "Edward-" Jacob stopped himself. I raised an eyebrow. "Yes?" I said cautiously. He sighed and shook his head. And then he turned, got back in his car, and drove off.

I stood there like a confused idiot for at least three minutes before the bell rang and I left.


	4. This Is Beginning To Get Ugly, Dear

**Dusk  
** **Chapter Four;  
****_This Is Beginning To Get Ugly, Dear._**

Should I be concerned if I started to talk to myself?

Not out loud, I mean. In my head. Well, I suppose that's normal. What am I being so paranoid over? Oh god, I really am going insane.

"Edward?" Alice knocked on the door but came in anyway.

"I'm here," I said, staring up at the ceiling. I wasn't staring at it, really. She'd caught me in the middle of a thinking-session.

"I know you are. You always are." She didn't sound too happy about that. I took a peak at her thoughts.

"Just because I've decided to keep to myself lately doesn't mean there's something wrong with me," I defended myself, standing up. "Edward..." Alice started. She didn't finish, so I took it upon myself to let my guard down and read the whole book.

"It has absolutely _nothing_ to do with the mutt, Alice," I told her. She'd come up here to talk about it. I wouldn't let it happen.

"I understand that it's not something you'd like to talk about with me," she said, her finger fidgeting with each other. My nose started to burn, and I figured it out for myself, without watching the vague vision she'd gotten.

"I'm not talking to him," I said firmly, backing up. "He wants to talk to you-"

"_No_," I said again. I turned and opened my bedroom window. Alice grabbed my arm. "He wants to apologize," she said quietly.

"That's great, Alice. He can tell it to someone who cares. I'm going to see Bella. I'll see you later." I jumped onto the ledge.

"If you want, I'll stay in the room with you," Alice suggested. "I don't want him here anymore than you do, but I hate seeing you like this. Look at yourself! Edward, do_ not _jump! _Edward_!"

I had already hit the ground. Alice was right; I couldn't keep this up. But I would while I could. And with that, I went to Bella's.

-

I found her at the stove, humming to herself. Charlie wasn't home, so I walked right in and shut the door silently. I stood behind her for a few minutes, just watching her stir the pasta she was cooking. It wasn't the most entertaining thing, but I was trying to guess what she was humming.

"I give up," I finally said, making her jump and turn to me. "What are you singing?"

"You scared me," she said, kissing me lightly. "It's called Shadow of the Day."

"Ah," I said, nodding and smiling. "Linkin Park."

"So, any reason you're-" The phone suddenly rang, and she stepped around me to answer it.

"Hello?"

I immediately recognized the voice on the other end. "Hey, Bells. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm great, Jacob. You?" She smiled at me to let me know I hadn't been forgotten. I returned it weakly, deciding to just go sit on the couch.

"Fine. I was wondering, you cooking tonight?"

"Every night, Jake. I already told you; you're free to come to dinner anytime. Should I expect you anytime soon?"

"In a few. I'm starved."

"Okay. I'll start a second pot. See you." I heard the click of Bella hanging up the phone.

"Staying for dinner, Edward?" she called to me.

"I suppose," I replied.

"Well, I could use an extra pair of hands. Set the table, please?" I nodded (to whom, I'm not sure) and got out the necessary plates and silverware. That nasty stench that made my nose burn was back, and that only meant one thing. "Jake's here," I told Bella, setting down the last plate. Charlie walked in first, greeting both of us before sitting down at the table to wait, and then there was a knock at the door.

"And Alice is the phsycic one," Bella muttered as she went to go get the door. I stuffed my hands into my jeans' pockets and sat down at the table.

Bella went straight back to the stove when she walked in and Jacob sat down across from me. My fingers dug into the table, but I forced myself not to break it.

"'Sup, Edward," he greeted me, smirking.

"Black," I replied, nodding. _I went to your house today_, he thought, specifically, at me.

I looked away, but didn't block him out. _I know you were there, but you left before I could get there_, he continued.

_Why is that?_

I gave him a glare and then turned my attention to Bella, who was now serving the food she'd made. I noticed she gave me a slightly smaller serving than the rest, and didn't argue, but silently thanked her. I picked up the fork and started to eat, slowly forcing the food down my throat.

I wanted more than anything to get up and go home. I'd come here to get away from him, but of course I went somewhere he could follow. Stupid me.

"Edward."

I looked up suddenly. Bella was giving me an odd look, Jacob was raising his eyebrow in an amused way, and Charlie looked a little unnerved.

"Um, would you like another _fork_?" Bella asked, emphasis on 'fork.' I looked down at my hand; unknowingly, I'd stabbed the table and now the fork was bent sideways. "Um, no, this one's fine," I said, pulling the fork out of the table's grip and bending it forward again. Oh, now Charlie was giving me the strangest look.

"I think I should head home," I said, taking my empty plate and setting it in the sink.

"But you just got here," Bella said sadly.

"I know, but there's a ton of stuff to be done at the house, and I have to help or Rosalie will get on my case," I took her hand and pulled her to her feet and kissed her for just a second, because I could feel Charlie glaring at the back of my head.

"I'll see you later," I said, giving her a small smile. She grinned goofily back at me, and I chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess I should go too," I heard Jacob say, and I froze. _You can't keep running away from me_, he thought, extra-loud. I stuffed my shaking hands into my pockets and turned towards the door. Jacob was holding it open. "After you," he said, motioning for me to go.

"Thank you," I said politely, walking as quickly as I could. I made it to the sidewalk before I felt his too-warm hand on my shoulder.

"Is there something you wanted, Jacob?" I said, not turning around. He realized that I wasn't going to and came around to stand in front of me.

"I don't know," Jacob said, honestly.

"Then I'll just be going-"

"I'll walk you," he suggested. I looked up at him. No trace of a smirk whatsoever. "I don't think that's the best idea," I said slowly, swallowing.

"I don't either," Jacob agreed, shrugging. He motioned with his finger for me to follow, and then turned and started to walk. I caught up with him quickly. "Where are you going with this?" I asked cautiously.

"I don't know, Edward," Jacob sighed.

"You say that a lot." It was quiet for a few minutes.

"It's because I don't," Jacob finally said. I didn't say anything. "I'm just... really confused."

"No kidding," I muttered. "Same here." He turned and glared at me. "Sorry," I said quickly. "But you're not making any sense."

"I know, I know, nothing's making much sense." I knew that much.

"It's a long walk; you have time to try and explain," I told him. Again, it was quiet. I decided to let down my guard and take another look at his thoughts.

He was sifting through different ways of starting sentences, but he was going so fast through them that I couldn't put anything together, so I still remained as clueless as ever. Maybe even more.

"Bad timing," Jacob muttered when we were about halfway there. "I'll just see you tomorrow."

I wanted to argue, wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he could just stay home, but I didn't. I turned and ran as fast as I could back to the house. Alice was reading on the couch, legs thrown lazily over Jaspers'. Rosalie was fixing her hair up into a fancy bun. Carlisle, Emmett, and Esme were somewhere else.

"Edward?" she asked, not getting up like I expected her to. _You okay?_

"I'm good, Alice, thanks for asking," I told her, taking a seat next to her. "What are you reading?"

"Some old history book I found in Carlisle's study," she replied. _Jacob followed you._

"I know," I muttered.

"So, what did you do over at Bella's, where I assume you went?" _Did he do anything?_

"Yeah, that's where I went. She cooked us dinner and then Jacob offered to walk me home."

_Did he?_ "Was the food good?" She was so good at covering up these secret conversations.

I, however, was not. "Yeah, it was fine. What have you been doing all evening?"

"This." She didn't say anything more, and I lay my head against her and read over her shoulder. And this was how we spent the night. At some point, though, I heard Alice mutter, "God, we need lives." I couldn't agree more.


	5. Let's Set Our Hearts At Self Destruct

**Dusk  
Chapter Five;  
_Let's Set Our Hearts At Self-Destruct._  
**

I had no idea what I was doing here.

I was standing in at Jacob's front porch, very confused. I wanted to know what he was going to say last night. I wanted to sit there and listen. But he had to be able to tell me first.

I was trying to get the courage to knock, but I couldn't. _You're so weak_, a little voice in the back of my head told me, and I knew it was right. I sucked in a breath and knocked very lightly, then took my hand back quickly. What if Billy answered?

I put a hand up to my nose. It started to burn horribly, and I froze. I realized with a jolt that I wasn't even supposed to be here. Oh god, those damn wolves were coming after me. I could hear the pounding their paws made against the ground as they ran. Oh god, oh god, oh god. How come I didn't think of that before I came? How stupid could I get?

I turned to go back to my car, but suddenly he was there. I gasped in surprise.

"You're not supposed to be here," was the first thing out of Jacob's mouth. He gripped my shoulder hard and pulled me back. I didn't resist, stumbling over my own two feet.

There, on the front lawn, were three wolves; one silver, one chocolate brown, and a slightly larger, black one standing in the front, growling like no tomorrow.

"Sam," Jacob said calmly. The wolf growled and bared his teeth. I guessed him to be Sam.

"Be civil," Jacob said firmly, and I watched as he transformed, quickly pulling on the pair of shorts wrapped around his ankle.

"You," Sam said, walking closer. "Me," I replied quietly, eyes wide. The two wolves behind him started to follow, but Jacob threw his hand up. "Stay there!" he yelled.

I looked around frantically. "Sam, calm down. I told him to come. He'll be gone before you know it," Jacob said, pushing me back and standing in the doorway to block it.

"What?! So now you're buddies? What's going on Jacob?" Sam asked, stepping closer. Jacob forced him back again. "Keep your distance," he growled, and Sam backed onto a stair.

"We're planning something," Jacob lied, "for Bella. And I know if any of the other goddamned leeches heard, then the surprise would be ruined. So go. You're not needed." He was good at lying, or maybe it was how intimidating he was.

But the three stood where they were, Sam turning his head to glare at me. I didn't move. Jacob walked forward, letting out a low growl, and grabbed Sam by the throat. "I. Said. _Go_."

Sam turned swiftly, and Jacob didn't waste anymore time with them. He slammed the door and turned to me. "What in the world were you thinking, you idiot? You could've gotten yourself killed," Jacob told me angrily.

"I'm already dead," I said through gritted teeth.

Jacob sighed, trying to calm himself down. "Why are you here?"

"I need to be," I said simply, taking a tentative step forward. "I think we need to talk."

"I think you need to go," he said, turning towards the door. "You shouldn't have come."

"You're lying," I said, still standing where I was.

Jacob was fuming now. He got real close to me. "Listen, Edward, you are _not _safe here. And I'm not talking about those other wolves, you get me?"

"I know the risks," I said quietly, keeping my eyes locked on his. "Since when are you so concerned about my safety?"

"I don't know," murmured, his words sort of slurred. He reached a hand up and ran it through my hair and let it rest at the back of my head.

"J-Jacob? What are you doing?" I said, swallowing and wringing my hands behind my back.

"Being incredibly stupid," Jacob said, one second before he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. The heat and the electricity that ran through me knocked me off balance and I grabbed his shirt for support. I could feel his heart thudding fast beneath my hands, hear it pounding against his chest, and I liked it.

And just as fast as it happened, it was over. Jacob let go of me and pried my fingers away from the material of his shirt. After a few seconds, after I'd composed myself, I shook my head and went for the door. "You're right, I need to go."

"Ah, ah, ah. You can't leave _now_."

"What-?" Suddenly, he had me against the wall, his body holding me in place, his hands gripping my shoulders.

"It's too late to leave now," he whispered.

"Jacob," I whimpered, "please don't." I saw the anger flash in his eyes, and his grip tightened. He was saying 'sorry' over and over in his mind.

"Go," he said after a minute, letting go of me. I didn't hesitate. I scrambled out from under him and out the door as fast as I could.

It was when I was in Forks that I relaxed a bit.

I drove slowly, something out of the ordinary for me. But it felt better for some reason. I had time for myself. Time to try and figure out what the hell was going on.

"He was holding back," I said to myself. He'd been fighting something. Restraining himself. And the kiss? What was that about? What was going through his mind when he kissed me? I wish I had thought to take a look. He'd distracted me. Damn dog.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Alice's number, but then decided to call Bella instead. "Bella?" I said as soon as I heard her pick up.

"Edward? You sound hysterical. What happened?"

That girl. I stayed silent for a couple of minutes. "Edward? Talk to me. I know I sound like a nagging wife already, but you never talk to me anymore."

I had to laugh. I couldn't tell her what was going on between me and Jacob, if anything. "No, no, I'm fine. I just wanted to see what you were doing..."

"Um, nothing, basically. I was gonna go over to Amy's, she needed some help with some chores," Bella said. There was some shuffling. I didn't say anything as I pulled into the driveway. I parked, stuffed the keys into my jeans, and sighed. "Bella, do you even want to get married?"

"Er, I mean, for you."

"I mean it, Bella. Do you?"

"Honestly, I don't see the point. You know we're going to be together for the rest of infinity. Besides, weddings are boring." I chuckled at that, and said, "It's for my sanity." I paused. "But if you don't want to..."

"If you want to, I will. I'd do anything for you, you know that." I slammed my fist into the nearest wall, and shakily slid to the ground. "Yeah, I know. But we don't have to. I know you're not ready." The truth was, I wasn't ready.

"And I don't think I'll ever be. Truth of the matter is, I don't like weddings." I didn't say anything. "I'll come by later," I mumbled, closing the phone and dropping it in my lap. Alice found me like that a couple hours later, against the wall, head in my hands.

"Bella called me," she said, kneeling down beside me. "She said you stopped talking to her and now you don't wanna marry her."

"Bella doesn't want to get married," I murmured. Alice shook her head. "Doesn't matter. The fact is, she knew that you wanted to marry her and now you don't. Is there something you want to talk about?"

I stared at the concrete for a second before looking back up at her. "If I told you something, would you hate me?"

"Well, I might temporarily dislike you, but I could never hate you," she said, and I cracked a smile. "I-I went over to Jacob's today."

The smile on Alice's face disappeared. "What is _wrong _with you?" she said, sternly, but quietly. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt again? Or killed?"

"And he almost did it again," I muttered.

"Almost?"

"Yeah." The hint of a grin slid onto my face. I was leaving out a couple of parts, but Alice didn't need to know everything. She had a puzzled look on her face. "You lost me," she said slowly.

"I lost myself," I said, shrugging. Alice stared at me for a minute or two before getting up. "I give up on you," she muttered, turning and waking away. I laughed, almost with an insane air, but maybe it was just because I hadn't _really _laughed in a while. It felt good to just let it out.

Oh, yes. I was going insane.


	6. I Come To You To Feel Helpless

**Dusk  
****Chapter Six;  
**_**I Come To You To Feel Helpless.**_

Jacob was gone for a good two months.

I don't know where he went. After I'd went to visit that day, I tried not to focus on Jacob. At all. It worked, sort of, as I tried to distract myself. I spent a while helping Bella with college, or chores, or anything. It helped having her around more, but just made me feel more guilty. After a week, I decided to go to Jacob's again, which probably wasn't smart, but the wolves left me alone, although I saw them watching me from afar.

Billy answered the door that day. He wasn't too happy to see me. When I asked for Jacob, he said Jacob had gone out of town and wouldn't be back for a while. That put me down a little. I had this strange feeling Billy was lying to get rid of me, but soon, from those damned wolves who were following me, I learned that he was telling the truth.

So two months later, Bella and I are in my room. I was helping her fill out college applications, when my phone rang. That was strange, because the only people who had my number were Bella, who was here, and the rest of the Cullens, who needn't call me because we were in the same house.

And then I saw the number. I swallowed hard. "Bella, it's for you," I said, reaching over and handing her the phone. She looked at it curiously, before accepting the call and putting it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bells. How goes it?" Jacob's voice came very smooth. "Hey, Jake. What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing, just wanted to call and check up. How's Edward?" I mentally winced and went to lean against the bedpost. "He's fine," Bella answered, giving me a _look_. I rolled my eyes.

"Really, now. Can I talk to him?" When I heard that, I froze. I knew that that had been the reason he'd called. But I also thought that if Bella talked to him, he wouldn't. Cringing, I took the phone from Bella. "Yes, Jacob?" I forced out.

"I was told that you came by again." I quickly figured that this conversation was going need some privacy, so I motioned to Bella that I'd be right back and went to the library.

"Yes, that's correct," I said, drumming my fingers against my thigh.

"Why? Why the hell won't you just leave me alone?!"

"I-I'm sorry," I said, surprised. "I could have never guessed that's how you felt." Because he was lying. Again.

"No, no." Jacob sighed and was quiet for a minute. "It's not like that. It's just... whenever you're around, things seem to get more complicated."

"I think..." I paused for a minute, peaking back into the room to see what Bella was doing. She had her head bent over a stack of papers, hair curtaining her face and hand slowly writing. "Maybe you should come over," I suggested, the words leaving a bitter taste on my tongue.

I must've caught him off-guard, because he didn't say anything right away. "I don't know, Edward... With your family, and Bella..."

"They won't mind you, and Bella won't even be here," I assured him.

"It's kinda late."

He wasn't getting off that easy. "It's only 5. You'll be back before you know it." He sighed again, defeated, and I grinned triumphantly. "I'll be there in an hour, okay?" Jacob said quietly.

"Okay." I ended the call straight after that, trying not to crush the phone into pieces in my hand as I walked back into the bedroom. "Bella, I have to run an errand," I told her. She looked up curiously, tucking hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry," I said, taking a seat next to her. "I know we were kind of busy, but-"

"We can do this tomorrow," she sighed, folding the papers together. "I know, I know." There was that guilt. "I'm sorry," I told her again. She gave me a small smile and went on with putting her stuff into her bag. When she was done and about to stand, I took the bag for her. Bella took it back, though. "I can see that you want me gone," she said coldly, "but I'd appreciate if you didn't rush me. We can't all move at superhuman speed."

"What?" I said, shocked and a bit insulted that that was how she was taking it. But then again, I wasn't giving her much to go on. "Bella, that's not it at all. I told you, I have to run an errand."

"Edward, I gotta know. What happened? Why are you suddenly... I don't know. Avoiding me? Not talking to me? What is it? I just wanna know."

"It's not anything. I'm sorry if that's how you feel, but I'm not trying to _avoid_ you! And there's really nothing I need to go into discussion about with you, except everyday things, and I know you think I'm not trying to be with you, but I _am_." I pulled her over and kissed her gently. "I love you," I reminded her.

Bella looked like she wanted to cry. "It doesn't show anymore." I dropped my hand at that. Was I really that distracted that I'd led my love to believe that I didn't love her anymore?

"I'm sorry," I said for the third time. "I'll give you a ride," I told her. She nodded, tightened her grip on her bag and led the way to the driveway. The drive to her house was silent, and it was better that way. What was I supposed to say to her? She was absolutely right. She had every right to feel how she felt.

Finally, I pulled up to her house. "How about this," I said before she'd gotten out. "Come over tomorrow morning. I wanna spend the day with you. I wanna try and make things right again, okay? I'll make you breakfast and everything."

Bella didn't say anything for a minute. "Will there be pancakes?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"There will be pancakes," I replied with a small chuckle. She leaned over and kissed me quickly. "I'm sorry," she said, getting out. "I love you too. And thank you." I didn't say anything as she shut the door and went inside.

I drove back to the house and was going to park, but saw Jacob's car in the driveway. "Speed driving, much?" I muttered, parking next to Rosalie's.

It took ten seconds of being in the house for Alice to come get me. She looked very guilty. "I told him to wait in your room," she said quietly.

"It's fine, Alice," I assured her. She looked a little confused, but nodded. "You two are working things out?" she asked. I thought for a second. "Something like that." And it really was.

I walked slowly up the stairs, trying to calm myself. "Jacob?" I said quietly when I'd reached my bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, not looking too happy. "Sorry," I sighed, sitting down next to him. "I know-"

"Don't, Edward," Jacob muttered, looking up at me. I stared into his eyes, and saw two things, one losing. I saw that same loving look Bella had when she was with me. And then I saw the glazed over, lustful gaze. Slowly, I shook my head. "Why did you come?" I asked, looking down again.

"'Cause you asked me to," Jacob said, slightly puzzled.

"I wish you would stop lying to me." Shaking (I seemed to do that a lot lately), I got to my feet and stood in front of him. "I know exactly what you want," I continued. "Why can't you just say it?"

"You don't know anything," Jacob argued angrily, standing up.

"Then tell me what I don't know! For all the talking that you do, you're pretty fucking quiet," I said, pushing hair back from my face. Growling, Jacob grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me closer. I struggled, stumbling backward in fear and tripping over my feet, but Jacob had a firm grip on me and I didn't go anywhere. He wrapped his other hand around my throat, and I desperately clawed at it.

I was sick of all this already. I wiggled slightly, Jacob's grip loosening very slightly, and I got enough air in my lungs to form words. "Just fuck me."

Jacob blinked, his eyes going wide. "What?"

I pushed myself out of his clutches. He hadn't been expecting that. "Just do it!" I said, a note of strangled hysteria in my words. "I _know _you want it; whatsamatter, didn't get enough the last time?! So j-just fuck me, it can't hurt that much worse than it does n-now!"

I was stuttering and slurring my words; I suddenly pulled my fist back and broke a nice, big hole in the wall. Matches Alice's, I thought; dark humor.

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you."

"That's the first bit of truth I've heard out of you," I muttered. It was the tone of his voice, and, of course, his thoughts that convinced me. Jacob pulled me over, but gently, and I let him this time. "I don't want to hurt you," he repeated. Before he could continue, I said, "Then why do you?"

"Because it's easy," he said, taking a step forward. "Not that I enjoy it; it was just easier than being... truthful." I didn't understand; in fact, his words just confused me even more. "I don't get you, Jacob. I-"

"I know you don't understand. And I don't expect you to. I just don't want you to be afraid." Before I could ask what it was he wanted me to be brave about, he put both hands on either side of my face. Reflexes send my hands flying up, wrapping around his wrists. "Please don't fight," he whispered a second before his mouth was on mine again. That same explosion of electricity and fire happened, knocking me off balance once more.

So, I'd been wrong. It hadn't been shock that had shook me so badly last time we did this. It had been the sheer pleasure of kissing Jacob and the desire I had for him. I shivered, wanting to push him off, but I didn't want it to be over either. And neither did he; his mind was blank, but I could feel his eagerness. I let his wrists go, and they traveled slowly, one going to my waist, one to the back of my neck. I pulled away an inch, saying quietly, "It's okay."

"You sure?" he murmured against my lips. I shook my head, and he chuckled. "Good enough for me." I didn't think about all the reasons this was wrong. I let him practically drag me (as I didn't care for using my feet) over to the bed, and I climbed on, Jacob not far off. I had part of my head on a pillow when he was on me again, lips attacking mine, hands moving all over. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted myself up, and Jacob yanked the jeans right off my body. "Jacob, I swear to God..." I muttered, lips against his neck.

"I won't," Jacob told me. I was giving him way too much trust, but it didn't matter to me right now. Mind over matter, eh?

He had my t-shirt up and over my head in an instant. I pushed him away for a second, climbing to my feet on the floor. He looked hurt, but all I did was hold up a finger and half-jog to the door, locking it. Not that it would keep out anyone that really wanted to get in, but hopefully it would tell people to leave us the fuck alone. Obviously, Jacob couldn't wait, as he had me pressed to the door. I didn't mind in the least. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me against the door with a soft thud.

He was kissing my neck and collarbone teasingly, making me gasp and shiver in absolute pleasure. He spun me around, a smirk on his face. He suddenly slowed down, raking his fingers down my back very, very slowly. I cried out, not in pain, but in frustration and want. "You're... m-making me... crazy," I breathed, fingernails drawing little scratches in the white paint of the door in front of me.

I heard him laugh quietly, kissing the back of my neck gently. I heard him unzip and throw his pants to the ground.

Jacob pressed himself against me, biting and sucking on every inch of skin he could get to. "You're such a fucking-" I gasped out, panting, "-_tease_."

"You need to learn some patience," he whispered, licking my lips and running his hands along my abdomen again. Jacob kissed up the back of my neck, grasped both of my shoulders, and thrust his hips hard. I swore loudly, pain and pleasure mingled together shooting through my veins. My fingers curled, nails digging into the skin. My strangled gasp turned into a low moan and I tilted my head back again, body held firmly against the door by Jacobs'.

I gasped loudly. I could hear a small groan slip past Jake's lips. He pressed them to my neck. I choked out his name with a trembling moan. I could feel my eyes start to roll back, my breath coming in shorter and shorter intakes. "Jacob... J-jacob. Jacob!" I was screaming now, trying to keep my mouth shut as Jacob ran his fingers down my back again. My aching muscles started to shudder, and with one last scream, I dug my fingernails into the door, leaving small holes, and then went limp as the final waves of sensation ran through me. Jacob put a hand on the wall to steady himself. I was light-headed and still gasping for air.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah, Edward?"

"What just happened?"

"I'm not sure."

We both dressed and around an hour later, I walked Jacob out. Around an hour after that, _I_ walked out.


	7. The Lies That You Fed Me Last Night

**Dusk  
****Chapter Seven;  
**_**The Lies That You Fed Me Last Night.**_

"Hey."

I was picking at the undergrowth, staring forward blankly. It had been three days I'd hid away in the forest by myself. And that's why I had been here. To be by myself. But of course, the mutt found me.

"What?" I asked, quiet and monotone.

It was silent for a minute, and then, I felt him grab my shoulder and yank me to my feet. I gasped, almost falling over. "What the _fuck _is your problem?!" I yelled at him, stepping back. I instantly knew that it was a mistake. His eyes flared with intensity and he grabbed my collar and pulled me close. "Wait, Jacob, I'm sorry-"

"What the _fuck _is yours?!" he yelled back at me. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for him to hit me, but it didn't happen. I exhaled and looked at him again. His jaw was set firm, eyes still ablaze. He dropped me then. "I'm sorry," I tried again.

"Okay," he said quietly. We stared at each other for another minute or two.

"What's wrong?" I stared at the sky for just a second, and then looked at him. "You really wanna know?" I said, swallowing my fury. "What's wrong is _you_."

Jacob looked at me in disbelief, thoughts racing, and then he let out an exasperated sigh. "_What_?"

"I wanna know why you suddenly are so interested in me. Why?! You ruined _everything_! You just couldn't stay away?! Huh?! Is that-" Jacob slapped his hand on my mouth, and I stopped talking obediently. "Edward, I have tried to keep myself away from you, and I wish that I could explain-"

I pried his hand away, using all my strength. "What-" His grip tightened on my neck, and I struggled a bit, "_What _exactly do you want to explain? How you ruined my life? How you took advantage of me?"

I hit a nerve, and we both knew it.

He growled furiously, lurching forward and grabbing my shoulders. He slammed me into a tree, seething. "I did not take advantage of you!" His voice echoed as he disrupted the peaceful silence. "I did not _fucking _take advantage of you! You _know_ you fucking-" Jacob pulled me and then slammed me back again. I hissed, trying to keep quiet. "-wanted it just as much as I did. And I-"

"I'm sorry, Jacob, please-"

_Ow._

He backhanded me promptly, stunning me for a second, before it started to hurt. I let out a strangled sort of sound and put a hand where he'd struck me. "Don't fucking interrupt me!" Jacob shouted, tightening his grip.

I kicked him suddenly, and he loosened his death-grip, as he hadn't been expecting me to fight back. I jumped up and grabbed onto a branch, climbing the tree as fast as I could. But I could hear him climbing behind me, not as fast, but doing just fine. I turned to him, tired. "Will you just leave me alone?" I said irritably. "We could forget about this and go back to our normal lives."

"Are you serious, Edward?" Jacob said in disbelief. "Are you really that naive?"

"No, but I can dream, can't I?" I sat down and crossed my legs, pushing hair away from my face. Jacob climbed up and sat on the branch opposite me, his eyes never leaving mine. He grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. "Don't-"

But he shut me up by kissing me as hard as he could, trapping me against the trunk of the tree. I closed my eyes, not sure if I should just let him. His anger was still present, I could feel it in his rough touch, and I wasn't exactly peachy keen myself. I pushed his shoulders slightly, gritting my teeth.

"What-" He cut me off again, kissing me with much more force than before, my head hitting the tree. I growled, frustrated, and I could feel him smirk against me, hands moving to unbutton my shirt. I grabbed at the leather jacket he was wearing, clawing to get it off. He pulled his arms out and I threw it to the side, where it fell to the ground, at least 20 feet below. "You're seriously going to do this again?" I murmured, and he roughly crashed his lips to mine, teeth clashing. I'd infuriated him again.

Jacob pulled away for a second. "I'll do whatever the hell I want with you, you understand that?" he whispered threateningly. "Whether you want it or not." He nipped at my bottom lip, and I stared at him. "And," he added, "I know you want this."

He was right and he was wrong.

"You don't know anything," I growled, glaring.

He didn't bother to answer me, pulling my shirt off as he leaned in to kiss me again, cutting off any further conversation for at least a few minutes. It fluttered to the ground to join the jacket.

My senses were on fire. I could force my mind to hate him, but my body played by different rules, and he had the same effect on me as he had three days ago.

Jacob's fingers slipped to the button of my pants, sending shivers all throughout me. Instead of unbuttoning them, though, he played with the metal tab of the zipper for a minute and let his fingers wander around my waist to the small of my back.

"Is this what you consider 'taking advantage of you'?" Jacob managed to gasp out; there were hands by my crotch and lips on my neck again. "No wonder you're so fucking weak." I brought my hand up, aiming for his face, but he caught it before I did any damage. I froze in fear.

"Don't you ever fucking hit me," he growled malevolently, deathly angry.

"Maybe if _you_ didn't hit _me_, life would be much easier-!"

He didn't let me finish, maybe because it hurt, although he wouldn't have admitted it, instead slamming me back against the bark and pressing his mouth hard into mine, and I didn't fight it. Jacob rapidly unbuckled the belt I was wearing, pulling my body closer to his. He pulled my jeans down and off, scraping my bare thighs as he went.

I reached up and wrapped an arm around Jacob's neck, forcing his head down into the kiss. I could feel the anger and bitterness on his lips. Jacob deepened the kiss almost immediately, managing to push me flat against the tree and elicit another moan. I arched my back slightly. He unzipped his own pants, and smirked.

_Nice to know how vulnerable you still are._

He gave me no fair warning before he slid one finger into me, earning himself a gratifying moan, shaky with pain. My breathing quickened even further with desire and anxiety, and Jacob let another couple fingers work their way down beside the first. I stifled a gasp too late, and his smirk widened slightly.

"Bastard," I murmured, and he removed his fingers abruptly. Not two seconds later, he pushed himself into me, none too gentle. I moaned throatily, letting Jake speed up, as though I had some choice.

Eventually my muscles were clenched so tight that I couldn't stop myself any longer. Our bodies slammed together one more time, and then a wave of intense white-hot feeling broke over me, my mind shutting down as my body ran through the familiar, much-missed rainbow of sensation and emotion. For one fleeting instant, my mind was entirely blank, and it felt… perfect, but the next instant it all came crashing down as I re-opened my eyes, only to stare into Jacob's. He was trying to catch his breath.

"Why do we keep doing this?" he whispered, mostly to himself. It was silent, and I don't know for how long. But at one point, I broke the embrace to pull on my pants. Jacob pulled his up too, and then stared at me again. "_What_?" I said, irritable again.

"You wanna tell me why you left?" he asked.

"_Now_ you want to know?" I said, tilting my head slightly. I paused. "I left because I needed to be away from people, especially you." I was slightly uncomfortable having the conversation shirtless, and then I felt ridiculous, as you can imagine the reason.

"Why?" Jacob leaned in close. "I thought... that you might've started to f-forgive me."

"Forgive you?" I breathed. "_Forgive you_?" How could he expect me to forgive him?

Slowly, Jacob shook his head. "I know, you can't. I just thought..." He sighed and then turned, beginning to climb down. I watched him go branch by branch, slipping once and almost falling, but making it the ground okay. He slipped his jacket back on and looked up at me. "We still need to talk," he said, and I sighed. I jumped from my spot and landed in a crouched position, grabbing my shirt and slipping it back on.

"I know," I said, walking toward him. "I need to know, Jacob. When is this going to end?"

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't _know_. I don't know why this started, I don't know when it'll end, I don't know why you don't just have your family rip me to shreds, or do it yourself..." He sighed again, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I don't know why either of us stick around."

There was yet another silent moment.

"I'm gonna go," Jacob said, sighing and rubbing the back of his neck. I looked down and then sat down on the grass. "I'm not ready to go back yet," I said, staring at my feet.

"Well, _I_ have to." Jacob stood there for a couple seconds more. "I'll see you." And he turned and started to walk in the direction of town.

I realized that I was going to be alone again, and sighed.

"Jacob!" I yelled, and he turned back to me, curious. "D-don't go."

Jacob stared at me, and then hesitantly started to walk back. "What?"

"Just, don't go. Not yet." I shrugged. Jacob rolled his eyes and sat down next to me. "I'll stay if you come back with me. Deal?" he said, turning his head toward me. I nodded. "Deal."

"How's Bella?" I asked tentatively.

"I was wondering when you'd ask. She's hysterical. She thinks something happened to you, because no one seems to know where you are."

"I bet Alice does." I thought about what he'd said again. "Wait, how did _you _find me then?"

"Alice wouldn't say, I'll tell you that. Wasn't hard though. I'd know your scent from a million miles away." He paused in thought for just a second. "Bella asked me," he continued, "to come look for you since your family won't let her. She's convinced that something's happened to you, but they know better."

"I should've guessed as much. Esme's probably hysterical."

Jacob chuckled. "Just a bit." And then it was silent, except for the sounds of the forest. We didn't speak, just sat there and enjoyed each other's company. And at that moment, that was really all I needed.


	8. Welcome Home To The Bitter Truth

**Dusk****  
Chapter Eight;  
**_**Welcome Home To The Bitter Truth.**_

"Jake?"

"Edward?"

I smiled grimly at his attempt at humor. "I don't want to do this."

His grip on my shoulder tightened, and then his hand slid down my arm to my hand, intertwining our fingers briefly. The gesture made my heart ache, and I threw open the door to distract myself. Jacob's hand left mine, and the sudden lack of his warm skin made me shiver distastefully.

Within seconds, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were all downstairs, leering at me from the living room couch. Bella was last, making her way down the stairs, a puzzled look on her face. But when she saw me in the doorway, she positively lit up and ran to me. I forced myself to smile and hug her but it was harder than it should've been to keep my composure.

"Don't ever leave like that again," she murmured, pulling away from me, eyes watering.

"I won't," I said, clearing my throat and looking to my family. Everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to make the next move, I suppose. I turned to Jacob, the silence eating away at my conscience. "I'm going to go upstairs and... rest for a bit." I glanced to my left, Bella's chocolate-brown eyes not meeting my gaze. Instead, she stared at the floor like a kicked puppy. I glanced at Jake, who was in turn looking at Bella, with a very intent look in his face. I could hear his thoughts bouncing around in his head like his mind had been thrown into overdrive.

It felt as though my cold, dead heart was being ripped out.

"Bella, darling-" I took her hands, a chill running up her spine at my sudden cold touch.

_Don't call her that_, Jacob thought sharply, and I dropped her hands in surprise. He seemed to realize this, adding with a much gentler tone, _Please._

"Edward?" Bella said, sounding a bit scared. She touched my cheek, and guilt washed over me. I hated this, what Jacob had done, what he had created. I hated him for ruining everything. I hated her for being too trusting. I hated myself for standing by and letting this all happen. This ridiculous mess we were in, of lies and lust and betrayal, was never going to end. Even if we all dropped it and went on with our lives like nothing had ever happened, we would still have the dark clouds of our past looming over our heads.

_Do you realize what you've done?_ I wanted to scream these words at Jacob. _Don't you see what you've caused?_

But then again, I wouldn't feel this horrible if it were all Jacob's fault.

I had hurt my Bella in the worst possible way. And she didn't have a clue.

Bella went upstairs with me a few minutes later, tripping over her own two clumsy feet as she tried to keep up with my brisk pace. It's not that I didn't want her to follow me. No, if that had been the case, I would've just ran the way altogether. But I wanted nothing more than to get away from the prying eyes and thoughts of my vampire family, if only to make myself feel just a bit better.

"Edward, wait-" she was saying as we reached my bedroom door. I turned, and she pressed her lips to mine, and I pushed her away in alarm. Bella stumbled to the ground, crying out quietly. A hand flew up to protect her face, as if she expected me to hit her.

_Like _he_ hit you?_

That's irrelevant, I told myself. I'm nothing like him. I would never inflict pain on Bella purposely, but when I saw the pain tear through her gaze, I knew that what I'd just done was the equivalent.

I knelt at her side, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close carefully. "Oh my, oh Bella! God, I- I'm so terribly sorry!" I was telling her, trying to make up for rejecting her. "You startled me," I lied.

"It's okay," Bella muttered dejectedly, sighing. "Can we go to your room now? It feels weird sitting in the hallway." I almost laughed at how she brushed the incident off, but I didn't question, because I wanted to get passed it as much as she did. I pulled her gingerly to her feet and led her through the door we'd stopped at.

For the first time in our relationship, I felt our silence become an awkward one. I had a feeling Bella felt it too, the way her eyes were darting all over the place, as if she were searching for the right words to say, or any words at all, for that matter. "Bella..." I closed my mouth before the truth spilled out of me, because I truly wanted to tell her everything that had been going on behind her back, but I just couldn't. I couldn't hurt her that way, even if it hurt me to keep it to myself.

Someone knocked on the door. Bella and I looked up from our spots standing in the middle of my room. It was Jacob, looking weary and annoyed. "Bella, Charlie called looking for you," he said to her quietly.

"Then I should probably get home," Bella said, looking outside at the dark sky, where night had taken its claim. She looked back to me. "I love you," she whispered. I hugged her tightly, trying to form the words she wanted me to say. "And I you," I said instead. "Get home safely."

It seemed to be enough, because Bella smiled widely, kissing my cheek before she darted out the door on her way home.

"I didn't hear a phone ring," I said to Jacob, eyeing him suspiciously.

"That's because he didn't really call," Jacob said, shrugging. "But I just saved you from what could've been the end of you and Bella, right?"

"Right," I sighed. "This is driving me crazy," I said to the floor, but it was directed at Jacob, who was still standing in the doorway. He stepped forward, skimming his warm fingers over my cheek, brushing my lips and finally resting at my jaw. "I should go," he said, a sad tone on the edge of his words.

And I almost let him, too.

But I grabbed his hand just before he turned.

"Stay?" I asked in a pleading tone, almost desperate. And in a way, I was. Desperate for his company, his touch, his voice, his warmth, _him_. There was a desire burning within me, and I'd never felt this way before, but all I knew was I needed Jacob now more than ever.

Jacob looked at me disbelievingly. "How can you still trust me?" he said softly.

My lips parted, but then I closed them, not being able to reply.

Jacob's face fell. _You don't_, he thought.

"I can," I said quietly, still unmoving. I watched as he slowly turned back to face me. "After what I've done to you? You still _want_ to trust me?"

"Can't you just forget what happened then? Just for a second? _Please. _I'm trying. Why can't you?" I pleaded. Jacob gave me a long, hard stare, before he slowly walked back towards me, placing a hand on my face. And then he kissed me, with all the fury and passion in his body, and the most amazing warm sensation washed over me, and I moaned low in my throat. I knew Jake had heard me, because he was suddenly kissing me more fiercely, pressing our mouthes together harder, grazing his teeth over my lip, driving me absolutely insane with need.

"I don't want to hurt you, Edward," Jacob pulled away to say.

"Then don't," I replied curtly, breathing heavily.

"It's not that simple." Jacob brushed the hair out of my face, sighing. We were so close together, mere inches from being one.

"Why can't it be?" I asked, like a stubborn child.

Jacob growled, tightening his hold on me. "You don't need me to answer that."

I really didn't.

"Let's pretend," I whispered, "that it's just me and you. That no one else exists."

"We're the only people in the world, right?" he said, just as quiet as a whisper, but the smile that was forming on his face prevented him from doing so. I nodded, resting my head on his chest, concentrating on his heartbeat. _Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump. _Fast, but reassuring.

"I wish it were like that, Edward. I wish a lot of things were different."

Jake took my hands and stepped away from me, leaving me whimpering from the loss of contact. "But don't get lost in that world. That's not reality, Edward," Jacob murmured solemnly. "Our lives are still as fucked up as they were ten minutes ago. You're just hurting yourself, okay? Please tell me that you understand."

"I understand." He was completely right; knowing that that was the kind of life I wanted to live but could never have, careless and problem-free, did wound me. I stepped around him and closed the door, locking it and resting against it, facing Jacob again. "But I still want you to stay with me."

"I have to go home, Edward," said Jacob, but instead pulled me toward my bed.

"Not tonight," I still pleaded, though it seemed he'd already made up his mind. He was going to stay.

"Okay. Not tonight."

I nodded, not saying anything else. He tilted my chin up. "It's just us two," Jacob told me, moving to rest on the bed, bringing me with him. "There's no one else in the world, okay?"

"You want this just as much as I do," I realized out loud as he intertwined our fingers.

"Don't flatter yourself," Jacob said, smiling slightly, and I saw the humor in his words, letting myself laugh for the first time in a while.

I sighed then, wondering why it couldn't always be this perfect, and suddenly remembering the reasons. "What am I supposed to tell Bella?" I asked him, not really expecting an answer, but he replied anyway, with another question. "Tell her about what?"

"About us, about _you_. Bella is under the impression that I want to be with her forever and-"

"Well, do you?" he interrupted. I exhaled sharply. "That's not exactly a fair question," I decided.

"Maybe not, but an answer still has to be established."

I slid my hand from his, glaring down at my palms. "It doesn't matter if I want to or not. I just _can't_. I can't be with her anymore. Don't you see? This isn't just us anymore. Bella... I've been lying to her. I've been... unfaithful and... I just can't even look her in the eye anymore."

Jacob was staring at me, disbelief written all over his face. "You're impossible, you know that?" he said, shaking his head. "Let's go back to when it was just me and you. Forget Bella, okay? What do _you _want? What does Edward Cullen want?"

"I want... life to stop being so complicated." I sighed then. "I want to start over, and be happy again."

"What makes you happy, Edward?"

_Who makes you happy, Edward?_

It suddenly struck me that that was the real question Jacob was asking. "Jake... I can't answer that without someone getting hurt. That's what I really want: for no one to get hurt."

"What about _you_, Edward?" Jacob exclaimed. "What about you getting hurt? Doesn't that matter? Don't worry about Bella or your family or me or anyone else except you."

"I'm sorry," I said, looking down again. "I can't do that. I love Bella, and I just can't do that to her. But..." I gulped before continuing. "I can't do that to you either. This is just a stupid love triangle, don't you see it?"

His expression turned cold then. "Don't bring love into this. That's yours and Bella's business."

I was falling apart at the seams. "You can't tell me that you don't fucking feel it, Jacob! I see it, I see the way you look at me, I can hear it in your goddamned head! Don't fucking lie to me!"

"Just stop it already!" he yelled, sitting up and getting to his feet. I stood too, determined to win this round. "Say it! Fucking say it, Jacob!" Jake just stared at me, expression hard and unwavering. I crumpled to the ground, not knowing how to respond.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked from the floor, pulling my knees to my chest so I had somewhere to hide my face; trembling lips and disappointed eyes.

I felt him sit down next to me. "I don't hate you, Edward, I don't! Really, please don't think that."

"Then prove it."

"They'll hear me," Jacob said, gesturing toward the door. I knew he meant my family. "You think I care?" I said. "They've probably heard our whole damn conversation, but I don't really care anymore."

Jake stared for a second before taking a deep breath. "Fine. Edward, I lov-"

I slapped my hand over his mouth at the last second. "Wait!"

He looked ready to kill me. I spoke quickly, a familiar fear welling up inside me. "I-I don't want you to say it if you don't really mean it, Jake." I looked up at him, getting to my knees and moving to get closer. Jacob stayed quiet.

"Please, Jake," I whispered, pressing my lips to his, letting it go on for maybe a couple seconds before pulling away again.

"I love you, okay?"

The words didn't seem to process in my head, now that I was actually hearing them.

"Huh?"

"Let's go to bed, Edward."


	9. The Useless and the Used

**Dusk****  
Chapter Nine;  
**_**The Useless and the Used.**_

Alice caught me strolling in the door at around four that morning.

"Hey there," she said, puzzled. "When did you leave?"

"I'm not sure," I lied smoothly, shrugging. "I was at Bella's."

Her eyes narrowed, and I read the answer in her thoughts.

"Alice, it's not like that-"

"What happened to staying away from him?" she asked angrily.

I shushed her, glaring. "_Shut up!_" I hissed. "Someone will hear you!"

"Well?!"

I took a deep breath. "It's not like that."

"Then what- Is that a new one?" Alice reached over, moving the collar of my shirt out of the way. I didn't bother stopping her, if she already had seen it. Her fingers pressed lightly on my jaw, on the new bruise that was just beginning to purple. I winced at the stinging sensation, looking down at the floor in shame.

"He's trying," I whispered solemnly, and Alice just stepped back, lips pressed together firmly. "Really, he is."

"No, he's not!" Alice yelled, hands squeezing into fists at her sides.

"Please, Alice-"

"You need to keep away from him."

"I can't do that, Alice. It's not that simple." I pulled up my collar, trying to hide the forming bruise as much as possible.

"He'll end up killing you one day."

"He won't," I seethed, eyes widening at the thought. A stab of fear mingled with heartache coursed through me, and I fell back into the door at my next thought.

_Or will he? What's his main objective in all of this?_

He'd said he would before. Would he follow through on it?

I squeezed my eyes shut, a wave of nausea hitting me. "Please, Alice, just drop it. I'm okay. Really."

Alice sighed, folding her arms. "Fine; what else did he do?"

"What?"

"You really want me to believe all he left was that? After you spent all night with him?"

"That's really it," I said through gritted teeth. "Now leave me be." Alice narrowed her eyes in a debelieving manner, threw another "fine" my way, and stormed off to her room. I waited until I heard her door slam shut to worry about getting up the stairs.

Because that last teeny bit had been a lie; Alice had been right, as annoying as that fact was. In addition to my face decoration, There were four long scratches going across my side, from my shoulder to just below my waist. Jacob had been having a bad day.

Sucking in a breath, I slowly made my way up the stairs, wounds tugging with each step, making me hiss every couple of seconds. My jaw had started to ache after being poked and prodded, and my head hurt like hell. I needed to lay down for a while, just a little while...

The second my head hit the pillow, I let out a loud sigh and removed my shirt, fabric rough against bruised skin. The silk sheets of my almost useless-bed felt much better, and I buried myself in them.

Quite a few hours later, a voice entered the room unexpectedly. "Knock knock."

"Bella?"

"That's me," she said quietly, and I could hear the smile in her voice. I heard the door open completely, her nervous shuffling, and then the door closing again. She walked over rather reluctantly. "Are you sleeping?"

Before she could blink, I'd thrown my shirt back on and laid back in bed. I made sure to lay on the side the bruise was, pulling up my collar as well. "I wish," I replied, and she laughed, taking a seat on the bed. I didn't say anything else, and her smile slowly melted into a frown. "Is this a bad time?"

I sat up, ignoring the throbbing in my head at this motion. "No, not at all." Yes, yes it is. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

"Well, my birthday's coming up."

I froze. I knew instantly what she was going to bring up.

"And you know, that agreement we made a while ago..."

No, no, no, no, no...

"I don't recall," I lied, shrugging my shoulders. Her forehead creased in frustration. "I know you do."

"Care to refresh my memory?"

"The agreement," she said simply, "was that, on my eighteenth birthday, you were going to change me." Her lips curved into a small smile. I beckoned her closer, and she climbed over onto my side. I took her hand lightly, and she stayed a few feet away, trying not to get cold, I suppose.

"Bella, I can't."

Bella's face turned to one of horror, and she dropped my hand. "Why not?"

"Things are just too complicated for that right now."

"Nothing is complicated, Edward! You're just being _stubborn_." She took a deep breath, breathing hard for just a second. "Is it the marriage thing? I said I'd marry you, Edward. _Please_."

"Why?" I asked her, shaking my head. "Why would you want that?"

"I want _you_, Edward, forever. I thought you wanted me too..."

"I do, Bella, I do. I love you. It's just..." I couldn't change her. I couldn't bind her forever to me if I wasn't sure she was what I wanted. _What are you talking about, Edward? Of course she's the one you want. Who else is there?_

"I just can't tell you."

"You know what, Edward? I don't know if I can take this anymore. I need you to just tell me whether or not you want me anymore, because lately it's all secrets and lies and..." Her voice cracked, and she stood up. "I don't know anymore."

"Bella, I honestly can't tell you," I told her quietly as she inched towards the door. "Please, just know that I truly do love you." This was something I had to bring up with Jacob later; I'd forgotten that Bella was a factor in this situation as well. I'd lost all touch with my reality.

"When you know what you want to do, with, you know, _us_..." She bit her lip. "Let me know." And she was gone.

I almost screamed in frustration; I was so sick and tired of all of this confusion. I had no clue what direction I was going in, what was in my near future, or who. All I knew was that I felt like someone was taking a chainsaw to my head, and I lay back down to try and rest while the pain slowly faded.

Eventually I reached into my pocket and grabbed my cell phone, dialing quickly and pressing the device to my ear. A few rings later, a rough voice flowed through the speaker.

"Can I help you, Edward?" I shivered at the sound of my name, his voice seductive in every sense of the word. I pulled myself together quickly, replying, "We need to talk."

"I was just with you a little over five hours ago, Edward. We couldn't have talked then?"

"No, I didn't think about it until now."

Jacob paused and then sighed. "Well, you could've waited until I was awake," he muttered, shuffling noises going on in the background. I almost felt bad for waking him up, but I stopped the feeling in it's track. _Don't think like that, Edward._

"Bella just came over."

"Shit."

"She... she wants me to change her, Jacob." It was quiet for what felt like forever, and I held my breath the entire time I waited for Jake to reply. "Do you want to?" he asked softly.

The question stunned me to the point that I couldn't speak, letting out a sound that sounded confused enough. "Well, do you?" he repeated, a bit louder this time.

"Jake, you can't ask me that," I whispered, sounding incredibly weak, but I didn't care. He was _not_ about to make me choose. I just couldn't make that decision.

"This is your choice, Edward."

"But I don't want it to be," I whined, albeit a bit childishly.

"Edward, this is hard enough as it is..." Jacob trailed off, and I could hear the pain in his voice. I wondered what he was thinking about, what was making him so emotional. "She needs to know," I decided.

"What?!"

"Bella deserves to know what I've been doing to her behind her back." _And maybe she'd come to her senses and leave herself..._ I left this part out.

"You want her to know everything?" Jacob asked in disbelief. "_Everything?_"

"Well, enough," I compromised, shaking my head to myself. "I'll make my decision then, okay?"

"Alright. _I'll_ talk to her."

"Excuse me?" I gasped at his implication.

"Look, I don't want you to be there. Just please trust me, it'll be easier if you're not there."

I pursed my lips. He was acting really suspicious. "_Today_, Jacob. She needs to know before this goes any farther."

"Fine, today." Jacob paused for a moment, in thought, I presume. "I'll only tell her the necessary details-"

"And what are the 'necessary details'?"

"Just trust me. I know exactly what to say to her." There was a pause, and I almost bid him farewell, when he said, "I'll be there in an hour."

There was a clicking sound, and the call ended.

I gaped at the phone for a few seconds before shaking my head and heading to my closet to look for a more suitable outfit than my crumpled polo and worn jeans. I looked through the rows and rows of clothes before deciding on dark jeans and a gray turtleneck, pulling the collar up as far as I could get away with. Once I was decent, I fixed up the bed, feeling lightheaded the whole time. I hated the excited feeling I got at the idea of Jacob coming over, but there was nothing I could do to expell it, so I nervously picked at the hem of my sweater, re-threading the stitching over and over to occupy myself.

Alice peeked her little head in, blinking around the room. "Nice cover-up," she commented, and I smiled weakly. "He's coming over," I said guiltily.

Her expression hardened, but she didn't say anything. The thoughts in her head were much louder, and angrier, might I add, than what she said out loud. "If I hear _anything_ I shouldn't, I'll escort Carlisle in here myself."

I tensed up a bit. "You wouldn't."

Alice just glared a bit more and left the room. I sighed and accidently left a miniscule tear in the turtleneck, and I released it before any noticeable damage was done.

I waited, counting the minutes, and when I got to twenty, I started to panic. What if he didn't come? What if he decided he had more important things to do than deal with me?

But I smelled him a few minutes later, before he showed up at the front door, knocking quietly. I was so relieved, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, almost tripping in my haste. Rosalie stared at me, hand inches from the doorknob. I motioned for her to continue. She rolled her eyes and opened the door, scowling at the sight of Jacob.

"Barbie," he greeted her in a strangely civilized manner.

"Mutt," she snarled, stepping to the side only when he gestured at her to get out of the way. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Edward," he said, glancing at me. I froze in place, gripping the banister tightly. Rosalie looked at me, confused and disbelieving. "What?"

"Don't make a big deal out of nothing, Rose," I muttered, murmuring to Jacob to follow as I turned and went back up to my room. He trailed close behind, and I quickly shut and locked the door behind us. Jacob looked me up and down as I waited for him to say something.

"You look..." He paused, blinking and swallowing hard. "Wow."

Had it been possible, I would've blushed red as a tomato, but thank God I didn't. "It's nothing, really," I muttered, straightening the sweater self-consciously. Now that I was thinking about it, maybe the outfit was a bit too tight... His gaze lingered on me for a few more moments than I felt were necessary. _Christ..._ His thoughts were clear as day, as though he'd forgotten I could hear. _I fucking want you too much right now..._

I exhaled sharply. "J-Jake?" I tried tentatively. He moved closer, trapping me against the door, breathing erratic. "Wait." I held my breath at this word. Jacob bent down, brushing his lips lightly across mine. I almost collapsed from the anxiety building in my chest, the shivers running through my veins at his touch. I opened my mouth to try and question him, but all that came out was a low, drawn-out moan, my eyelids sliding shut.

I heard Jacob swear quietly, moving a bit closer as he rested his hand on my waist, nails digging into my flesh. "That's completely unfair," he breathed, trying to compose himself.

"What is?" I managed to gasp out in my haste to clear my head of him.

"Nothing, nothing." He coughed and released me, hesitating before backing up again. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and asked, "So, what did you come here for?"

"I'm on my way to Bella's," said Jacob, shrugging as I reopened my eyes. "Just needed to... see you, I guess."

My head swam for a second, and I almost smiled at the idea. _He _needed _to see me._

His phone started to vibrate in his pocket, and he growled, retrieving it furiously, expression softening as he read the caller ID. "Speak of the devil," he muttered, pressing the phone to his ear. "Bella?" I could practically feel my heart dropping into my stomach.

"Jacob... I need to talk to someone." She was crying, or had been anyway; the guilt weighing me down grew immensely heavier.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I know you don't want to talk about him, but I really need some advice. It's Edward. I-"

"One sec, Bella."

He gave me a hard look. "I'm gonna come visit, okay?" he was telling her, and she sniffled. "What? Jake, you don't have to-"

"I want to, Bella," Jacob interrupted.

Bella was quiet for a second. "Thanks, Jacob."

"Anytime." He ended the call and took a deep breath, giving me a pointed look. "I'll be back, okay? Just... stay." With a bit of a defeated attitude, I stepped out of the way so he could leave. As soon as I heard the front door shut, one thing was clear.

_He's insane if he thinks I won't be listening._


	10. I Have A Dread of Becoming A Martyr

**Dusk  
****Chapter Ten;  
**_**I Have A Dread of Becoming A Martyr.**_

Jacob got there first.

Only because I'd taken my time and walked. When I got there, I climbed up on the tree I used to get into her room, but instead I stepped down to the branch right below it so I could effectively hide and still spy. Luckily this particular side of the house was shielded from the sun.

Bella was showing him something on the computer, hair in a messy bun, face paler than usual. Yeah, she'd been crying. Jacob was next to her, looking at the screen with disinterest, but he was putting on a good show of pretending just the opposite. His forehead creased in confusion for a second, and then he looked a bit expressionless.

_Edward, if that's you I smell, I'm going to kill you._

I bit my lip. I'd anticipated this very thing happening, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"Thanks for coming over, Jacob," Bella said quietly, sighing and looking down at her lap.

"Anytime, Bells," Jacob replied, smiling at her. _Edward, get _out _of here._ I held my breath after I heard that, trying not to make noise.

"He'll come around," Jacob assured her, and she shrugged, muttering an "I don't know, maybe." Jacob touched her shoulder, taking a seat on her bed. "Bella, there was something I wanted to talk to you about..."

Bella looked up in alarm, hearing the tone of his voice. "What is it?"

"I-" Jacob couldn't seem to figure out how to start the conversation.

"Is it bad?" Bella asked, concerned.

"A bit."

"Well, let me hear it."

"I... have a theory."

Bella looked confused for a moment. "About what?"

"About why Edward is acting the way he is."

"Really? Shoot," she said earnestly, leaning forward.

"Well, you know how werewolves work, right?"

"For the most part," Bella said, looking confused again.

"And you know how we find mates, right?"

"Yeah," she agreed again. "The imprinting thing. Where are you going with this?"

Jacob took a deep breath.

"I think I might've imprinted."

Well, that was unexpected.

"Oh," she breathed out, puzzled expression on her face. "What does that have to do with Edward?"

I wanted to ask the exact same question.

"It has everything to do with him," Jacob said quietly.

Bella didn't seem to understand at first, and then her eyes widened in realization. "Jacob... who did you imprint on?" she asked hesitantly.

"Your stupid vampire boyfriend," Jacob said miserably.

"Oh my god," Bella muttered, getting ready to stand up. Jacob grabbed her arm. "There's more," he said breathily, and she sat down again. "I've been, um..."

"You've been what?"

"I've kinda sort of been seeing him, behind your back," Jacob explained.

Bella made a choking noise and brought her knees up to her chest. "That's why he's all secretive?" she asked quietly.

Jacob nodded. "We didn't want to tell you because we knew it would upset you."

_What would really upset her is the actual truth, not that sugar-coated bullshit you just told her._

"So, you're trying to tell me that you're in love with Edward?" Bella asked.

Jacob tensed up. "Something like that."

"And you two are together?"

"Um, well, not technically."

Bella paused, inspecting his face. "And you're serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"This is crazy." Bella groaned, pulling her hair out of its ponytail and standing up. "How could you do something like this to me, Jacob?!"

"Hey, it's not like I planned it or anything, it just happened!"

"Oh, really?" Bella snapped, eyes watering again. "So you just up and decided that you were going to go after my fiance?"

Jacob's eyes flashed angrily. "He's not your _fiance_, Bella. And he obviously doesn't care as much as he says if he cheated on you with your best friend."

All three of us were stunned by the statement. I couldn't believe Jacob could say something like that, and the hurt on Bella's face was evident.

"Wait, Bella, I didn't mean that-" Jacob said quickly, but the damage had been done. Bella shook her head, starting to cry silently. I watched in horror.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I- I was just angry."

"Pfft, or _jealous_," she mumbled, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Jacob gaped at her, and I rethought what he'd said, suddenly seeing the jealous tone in it. Something tugged in my chest when I realized, Jacob was jealous of Bella because he wanted _me_ for himself.

"It doesn't matter anyway, Jacob," Bella decided firmly. "What you said was true."

I wanted to tell her, no, that wasn't true, that I did care for her as much as I said I did.

Or did I?

The idea seemed to chase me around in circles in my head. Yes, I cared for Bella. But there was something, some_one_, standing in the way of me loving her, loving her the way I used to. The love was there, but I just couldn't find a way to show her, make her see how I felt.

"Bella..." Jacob crawled over and sat down next to her. "I know he loves you. A lot. And you know that too."

"Yeah, but he-"

"Let me finish," he interjected, and Bella crossed her arms with a huff. "What I'm saying is that he's always going to love you, Bells. And, what happened between Edward and me..."

_Edward and _I_, _I wanted to correct him, but I kept my mouth shut.

"It's nothing like what you have with him," Jacob finished, standing up. Bella stood too, stepping forward so she blocked his way to the door.

"So, why didn't Edward tell me any of this?" she asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Because I asked him not to." Jacob side-stepped her, heading for the stairs. "You should go talk to him later. He's not-"

I jumped to the ground below, not wanting to hear the rest of his sentence. I ran home in a matter of minutes. I went through my bedroom window, however, because I didn't want to run into anyone on my way in. I just needed Jacob to hurry up and get here.

I was starting to rethink my _genius _idea of letting Bella in on what was going on. I was dreading when she would take Jacob up on his suggestion and come see me, to talk. I didn't want to talk to her, not about this, anyway. It had just been easier and simpler to keep her in the dark.

Someone knocked on the door, and I quickly grabbed a book that was on my nightstand and opened up to a random page. "Enter," I said loudly.

Emmett opened the door, eyebrow quirked. "Can I ask why there's a trail of _wet dog-smell _leading to your room?" he asked, and I looked down at the book (_The Winter's Tale_, William Shakespeare) with feigned interest.

"Been hanging with the pups, have you?" joked Emmett, trying to evoke a laugh from me. I forced a slight chuckle. "Not exactly."

Emmett stayed there for a second, scrutinizing me with a bit of confusion. I tried to think of something to reply with, as that was what he was looking for, but couldn't think of anything to say. "Are you okay?" asked Emmett, and I nodded my head. "I'm fine, just a bit distracted."

"I see that. But you've been '_distracted_' for months, Edward. It's starting to worry us."

"Us?" I mumbled.

"Me, Jazz, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, even Rosalie's concerned."

"There's nothing wrong with me, though."

Emmett looked unconvinced. "All you do is mope around. You don't talk anymore. You haven't touched the piano since the wedding was called off."

I couldn't argue with him as I thought back on the past few months; what he said was true, but I couldn't tell him why. "I'm sorry you see it that way, but I'm perfectly fine; thank you for your concern," I said politely, pretending to go back to my literature.

"Look, Edward..." Emmett looked a bit uncomfortable for a second or two. "If there's ever anything you want to talk about..." He paused for a second, and I looked up at him curiously. "... you know that Alice is always there for you, right?"

I laughed out loud at that.

_Hhm, what else did Alice want me to ask him? Oh, yeah. _"Um, do you need a hug?" he asked tentatively, holding out his arms awkwardly.

"Em, tell Alice I'm fine, and thanks."

He relaxed in relief. "You're the best, bro."

He left, shutting the door behind him. There was the sound of a car door slamming shut, and I instantly knew it was Jacob. I got up to go meet him, but then decided to just lean against the wall while I waited.

Fear gripped my heart, but I swallowed it down and focused on keeping my voice calm and steady. I heard Jake ask Emmett where I was, Emmett directing him to my room. His footsteps were loud, intimidating, and I bet he did it on purpose.

Jacob walked in without warning, angry eyes finding me immediately. "Let's go for a drive, Edward," he said quietly, but I nodded quickly and followed him down the stairs and out the door to his car.

"Don't you want to just talk in my room?" I asked hesitantly.

"No, I don't," Jacob answered curtly, opening the passenger door and standing to the side. "I want privacy for this particular conversation. Get in."


	11. Until Our Hearts Give In and Pull Us Und

**Dusk  
****Chapter Eleven;  
**_**Until Our Hearts Give In and Pull Us Under.**_

The drive was quiet at first.

Jacob didn't think about anything in particular, and he drove silently. I didn't say anything either, for fear of setting him off when he seemed calm. Ironically, it was scarier when he was quietly angry.

I wanted to ask where he was taking me, but he just drove, in the direction of La Push, where I first guessed we were going, but the turns he was making didn't indicate that that's where he was heading. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jacob cleared his throat and asked, eyes still on the road, "So what did you do while I was gone, Edward?"

I retorted quickly, lying having always been one of my better abilities. "Mostly read, played the piano a bit. You weren't gone long enough for me to do anything terribly constructive."

At this, he actually laughed; a dark, hollow laugh, and I edged closer to the door of the car at the sound. "Are you lying to me, Edward?" he asked, laughter ceased. He was much too calm for my liking.

"No," I said shakily, and I bit my tongue for it; I bet he could hear the truth in the wavering of my voice. I forced some confidence into my next words. "That's really all I did."

Jacob was quiet for a few minutes. "See, there's something that's not making any sense, Edward."

"Is there?" I asked, gripping the edge of my seat.

"Yes, there is. You see, I asked you if you were lying to me, which you obviously were. And on top of that, you go and lie again."

"I wasn't lying, Jacob."

Jacob clicked his tongue in disapproval. "You're just digging a deeper hole for yourself." _And, you know, once you dig deep enough, you'll be digging your own grave._

I felt my eyes widen impossibly. "Jake-"

"_Shut your mouth_," he said sharply, and I obliged, shrinking into the seat and trying to make myself as small as possible.

"Edward, we both know you were listening to a conversation that just wasn't for you to hear. Are you going to continue to deny it?"

I didn't say anything.

"I'm not angry," Jacob concluded, obviously not needing me to reply as he shrugged and made another turn. "In fact, I knew that you were going to eavesdrop. But what I want to know is, what were you expecting?" Jacob looked at me, curious. I took a deep breath, not completely sure if any noise would come out when I spoke. "I wasn't expecting much," I said slowly. "But... what you said..."

"I said a lot of things, Edward," Jacob interjected coldly. "You have to be more specific than that."

I lowered my gaze. "The... the imprinting part." Swallowing hard, I waited for him to say something, anything, but he stayed quiet, listening to me. I continued warily. "I don't quite understand it. What does that entail? I mean..."

But Jake was already gripping the steering wheel as hard as he could, hands tremblings, knuckles fading to white. "It's just a theory," Jacob said quietly. "I'm not sure if it even happened."

"Let's say that, hypothetically, you did." Jacob's driving was starting to speed up; I watched as the trees started to blur into green masses and the speedometer's needle started to edge passed 85. "How does that work?"

"Well, that would mean that, hypothetically, I would be bound to you and only you for the entirety of my existence," he explained. He made it sound very simple.

"So, that would mean you fell in love with me? Involuntarily?" At his expression, I quickly added, "Hypothetically, of course."

"Not necessarily." Jacob pulled onto the shoulder of a deserted road, putting the vehicle in park. Had it been sunny at all, the trees surrounding us would be blocking it out anyway, but the cloudiness of the sky made the moment all the more ominous. "It's... deeper than that. When you imprint on someone, that person becomes your life. Everything revolves around that person, because you just know that they're the one you're meant to be with." Jacob's eyes were closed, and I watched him shiver as he thought about what he'd just said.

"And you... imprinted on me?" I was a little breathless after his explanation that sounded suspiciously like a confession.

"I told you, I don't know. It's just a theory. Imprinting is rare. But it would explain why I..." He set his jaw firm, gripping the steering wheel again.

"And when did you come to this conclusion?" I asked, a bit timidly.

Jacob sighed, leaning back into his seat in a frustrated manner. "Some time ago."

"And how long ago was that?"

_When I first met you._

"Oh," I exhaled sharply. "That was... a long time ago."

"So, how do we know?" I asked him after a long silence.

"I know," he said quietly, almost a whisper. "It's just a matter of what you want to believe and what you want to accept."

"Hypothetically," I added, and the pained smile he flaunted next made me feel just a bit smug. "Of course," Jacob chuckled, looking at me out of the corner of his eye, mood lightening ever so slowly.

"Now it's your turn," Jacob said, turning himself toward me a bit so I wasn't talking to his side. "What would you do if it was you that I... imprinted on?"

"What would I do?" I blinked, choosing not to voice the fact that I thought it was a pretty pointless question. "It probably wouldn't change anything; I think we'd still be in the situation we're in."

"Hm." He was quiet for a moment, pondering.

"Jake?" I asked him, purposely pulling him out of his reverie.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not..." I bit my lip, not quite knowing how to say what I was feeling at that moment.

Jacob quirked an eyebrow at me, warm hand reaching up to touch my face briefly. "You're not what?"

"I'm not going to leave."

He looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, nothing can make me stop wanting you. If you were to imprint on me... it wouldn't bother me."

My words seemed to stun him into speechlessness.

Jacob stared at me, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth, and after he seemed to decide that I was, he tried to think of reasons why in the world I would feel this way.

To be honest, it didn't quite make sense to me either.

"I'll take you home now," he mumbled, almost incoherently. He switched gears and glided back onto the road, shaking his head.

"You don't have to," I told him, staring at the road behind us, disappearing slowly. Jacob was gradually speeding up, trying to get back to my home as fast as he could without getting in an accident.

"I have somewhere to be."

"And where's that?" I asked with curiousity.

"Pack meeting."

"Oh...okay."

I stared out the window again, estimating how many seconds it would be until the trees started to look similar to the ones surrounding the Cullen family residence. _Damn it, damn it, damn it, I just _know_ Sam's going to chew me out about this one. Especially since I'll be going back smelling like him... _Jacob's thoughts were pretty drenched in despair, and I was almost heartbroken when we turned onto the path leading up to my house.

"Can you come back tonight then? Later, after the meeting?" I asked, maybe with too much anxiety coating my plea. Jacob parked neatly before killing the engine and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in thought. "I'm on patrol tonight," he said flatly.

I huffed; it simply wasn't fair. I'd barely gotten to see him today, and his stupid pack was taking up all of his time. I resisted the urge to insult the wolves aloud, knowing that that would make him angry no matter how upset he was with them.

"I can try," Jacob finally decided, shrugging. "It'll be late though..."

"You do realize I don't exactly have a bedtime, right?" I chuckled darkly, and he laughed too, seeing the humor in his own words. "Alright. Until then, Cullen."

I exitted the vehicle with familiar grace. "Likewise, Black."

-

_Edward's back._

This thought rang out louder than the rest as I was walking back into the house. And surprisingly, it wasn't Alice who had thought it, though it was Alice running down the stairs before I'd had time to shut the door properly. It had been Jasper, who followed suit, but less eager, curiousity etched into his face.

I raised an eyebrow at my sister. "Alice...?"

She tried to look innocent for a second, blinking up at me through her lashes like I'd seen more than a hundred girls do before. "Salutations, Edward!" she greeted brightly. I heard nothing from her mind. Not quite satisfied, I pushed further, trying to get around her mental blocks, but she wouldn't have it. And that could only mean one thing.

She was hiding something.

"Salutations," I replied respectively, turning my gaze to Jasper. His head was silent as well. I tried what I'd tried on Alice, and it frustrated me to no end that they succeeded in keeping their thoughts from me. I was either losing my touch, or just getting too old. One hundred years isn't terribly elderly, wouldn't you agree?

My siblings stood there, motionless, waiting for me to make the next move. And I did; one step forward. No one made a sound. No one made to leave. This was starting to get weird. "Okay, what the hell is going on?"

Alice tilted her head, dark hair curtaining one side of her face. "How do you mean?"

"You two are hiding something, particularily _you_," I said, narrowing my eyes at her. "So, let's hear it."

Alice's lips pursed, and she said firmly, "I haven't the faintest _inkling _of what you are talking about, Edward."

I tried once more to get inside her head but to no avail. I could practically see the determination in her eyes. Well, fine. If that is the game she so wishes to play...

"Okay. I'll see you two... later, then?" I carefully side-stepped them and headed up to my room, locking the door behind me. I strained my ears to hear any sort of conversation that they exchanged after my exit, but there wasn't anything except the sound of their footsteps as they headed back to their room.

I huffed; I'd been cheated. They were keeping something from me, and I wasn't given any idea of what it was. I suddenly realized how early in the day it was, and that my schedule was empty, save for the late night... _meeting _with Jacob. I suddenly needed something to do, so I spent the next hour and forty-seven minutes deciding what to wear to said meeting. If I hadn't been so ticked at Alice, I would've asked her to help me, but I must say, she would've been proud of the effort I put into it on my own.

Finally, there was a knock at my door, a small clicking noise, and then it opened. Alice had lockpicked my door, with her fingernail, I presume. She'd probably foreseen that I wasn't going to let her in willingly. "Can I help you?" I greeted, not turning away from the closet as I spoke.

She shut the door, relocking it, before replying with, "You were with Jacob earlier."

I didn't say anything, just went on with my business. I pretended to be interested in a pair of faded black jeans that Alice had recently added to my wardrobe. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her get a bit excited that I was considering them, and then deflate when I put them back with a small sigh. "Oh!" she said, distracted for just a moment by her disappointment. "But those would look wonderous on you, Edward! I tailored them specifically-"

"Was there something you needed, Alice?" I finally turned to look at her, and she had her hands on her hips in a slightly irritated manner, miffed because I'd interrupted her rant. "Well, yes, actually. I just wanted to ask if anything exceptionally eventful happened today?"

It was a fairly strenuous struggle to keep the mocking grin off of my face as I responded. "I haven't the faintest _inkling _of what you are talking about, Alice."

* * *

Yeah... that was sucky (childish vocabulary FTW!). I bet you all hate me for building up a cliffhanger in the last chapter and then... nothing, nada, zippo, zilch. Just a calm, uneventful car ride, and then my failed attempt at humor at the end. Hope you enjoyed it, nonetheless, because it was necessary for me to move the plot along a bit.

Also, thank you so much everyone who has reviewed! We're close to hitting 150 reviews. I literally cried when I hit 100. Like, I was almost drowning; it was pretty gruesome. I was in a friend's basement, on my laptop, and there were about 30 people in there, and I swear to you, every single head turned to look at me as I burst into tears. I blame each and every one of you :)

Also, I wanna work out a schedule for udates so you guys aren't bugging me about not posting anything for months (my fault!). So, lemme know what you guys want: two updates a week? Once every Friday? You just let me know and we'll work something out.


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